As parents, when our children are young, most of their care is physical effort. Once they can start putting on their own shoes and taking their own baths, the care changes from physical to preparing them for their lives. Below are the 10 values I want to teach my daughters before they leave for college. I hope I can get it all done in 18 years.
Relentless Dedication. The only way you get good at something is if you spend a lot of time doing it. This goes for everything from tennis to baking a chicken. Princess has started to play the piano and because I grew up playing, I’ve spent a lot of time practicing with her each week. Every week she reaches a point of frustration usually because she cannot play the music correctly even after many attempts. After encouraging her to practice a few more times, the music is perfect and her smile is ear to ear.
Actionable Compassion. I want my daughters to have an open heart and mercy for others and proactively find ways to help.
Well-kept household. Growing up my mom would always tell us to clean up and she would tell her friends how hard it was to keep a clean house. My world was small back then so as long as I could find my own stuff, things were clean enough for me. Now that I have my own household to manage filled with two kids, a husband, and my stuff, I know exactly where my mom was coming from. It’s a lot of work but this is a place to put the extra effort. I feel cleaner and happier when my home is in order and clean. You also gain face from others when you have a neat home.
Managed finances. I am not good at this so I want to make sure my daughters learn this. It’s making sure you have money going into living expenses, fun expenses, and savings. It’s learning to live unattached from material things.
Good hygiene. This includes showering regularly, brushing teeth, combing hair, hair cuts, using deodorant, cutting nails, cleaning clothes, and anything else that will make you look and smell clean. Mastering this will help you get your dream job and dream boy or girl.
Love God. Being a Christian protected me growing up. God provides the foundation and guidance I need to raise a family and handle life. I want my daughters to have this.
Time management. I am at least a little bit late for almost everything. I am overly ambitious with all of the things I want to accomplish in a day and it totally stresses me out. I want my daughters to be better planners and have a better handle on the time needed to be present and do a good job.
Family values. As the oldest child in my family, it has been my responsibility to make sure the family maintains (for the most part) good relationships and family events are a priority for my siblings. It has not always been easy, but family IS important to my siblings and I. I want my daughters to always be close and promote family togetherness.
Individualized Identity. I want my daughters to have the confidence to have their own thoughts, passions, and likes. Then use this confidence to be who they want to be.
Self advocacy. As much as I would like to think I will be able to take care of my daughters for the rest of their lives, the reality is I won’t. It is so important for them to speak for themselves and learn how to take care of themselves, everything from healthy eating choices to knowing their civil rights.
Anything else on your list?
The Dumpling Mama xo